Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
