he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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