WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
