You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
