is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
