so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
