dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
