What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
