im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
