Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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