i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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