youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
