Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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