I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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