problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
