Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
