he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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