i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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