OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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