omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
