I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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