Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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