Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
