google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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