we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
