Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
