i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
MIDGETS
????
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
