Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
