Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish my penis had an off switch
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want a musical about memes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
