I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
His nipple licking is glorious
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