All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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