I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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