Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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