somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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