he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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