where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
