Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
