She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
