because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
