i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
