Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
operation harelip BJ is a go
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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