a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
