we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
