At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So much rum. So many feels.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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