elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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