hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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