Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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