They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
