My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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