What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
